windows rolled down.

i wrote a 53 pg paper on coping mechanisms for my senior paper at JBU- but somehow, i can't implement those same skills in my life when i need them the most. my best place to "cope" is through running, but the weather isnt helpful for that and my schedule is slightly busy/chaotic- i know, i know- i could do it if i really wanted to but to be honest i just dont have it in me. ive been doing run/walks every so often but thats even a stretch now. this whole thing effects so many areas of my life- its unbelievable. but today i found a coping skill that is fairly easy for me to do: roll down the windows and pull back my sunroof, crank up 80s or rap music and sing my heart out...on the highway. it was especially invigorating tonight for me to do. i had also just come from drinks with nate, sam, jake, etc. at a restaurant downtown and we got to eat on the roof! so i was feeling refreshed, i laughed alot- too bad me laughing really hard is an event to remember- kissed the love of my life and was on my way. until of course a person related to me decided to call and bitch me out in a descrete, snotty way that i wasnt at the hospital after class. are you kidding me? wow. who the hell says that? amazes me that people judge that kind of stuff when they have no clue- no clue at all. as my aunt said i needed a "mental health" day. how i wish i could have a "mental health" week, month, year? 

i tried to tell myself id be happy, and only look at the positive things when writing but then id have to lie if i ever wrote, so i guess id rather be an honest bitch than a sweet liar. i will however try to write at least 1 positive thing. so heres as many as i can think of at the moment or as many as im willing to write:

*nate gave me a james avery butterfly (i have a slight obsession with butterflies) necklace on sunday for no apparent reason- just because. i cried. mostly because ive odd and have day dreamed about a guy giving me a necklace for some time now- so ya, i got to live that one out. 

*i am really enjoying my classes and getting to know the people in them. i laughed so hard today in human behavior. we did this crazy activity to show how we judge, differences in culture,etc. it was just hilarious. 

*my dad and i continue to get closer- i guess we kinda have to though

*i got to be with my boys sat night. sooo good! we stayed up and chatted till 3am and then watched a movie- late night but so worth it. 

*i got my haircut last week- always makes me feel sexier. not sure why. 

*the weather. oh the weather. 

*an extra hour of sun light. 

*finally went grocery shopping and had good food today. 

*so grateful for the women who stayed with mom today so i could go to class and have somewhat of a break this afternoon and evening. 

*i feel oddly close to God. like i hear his voice even when im not asking him to speak or trying to listen. its very crazy- maybe he really is fighting for me, i just need to be still. 

enough of me being positive. 

-elizabeth