belle

i've been told on more than 1 occasion that i'm not a very "open" person. I tend to be quite private, i don't like to be weak or ask for help or let people know whats going on with me- and i want to go into social work! HA! im up at the hospital, where i usually am, and decided to make a "blog." i came across my friend, miss heather watson's, blog and was inspired to make one myself. i am horrible at the phone, so i thought maybe this would be some kind of way of communicating and let my friends know how i am- kind of arrogant of me to assume people care, but whatever. 

so my mom was diagnosed with mantle cell lymphoma stage IV last june. she has gone through the chemo part, she had a bone marrow transplant (her brother was a perfect match:) February 27 and now she is in recovery. she will be in the hospital for probably 1-2months. so that means- i am here as well. i decided in the fall not to pursue any jobs and be with her full time. im very grateful i even have this option- although moving back in with my parents at 23 can be a little frustrating at times. 

i tried to think of a super clever name and "like a lily" was already taken so i opted for "my hardest run"- seems kind of negative i guess. the reason i chose it is because i feel like this whole thing is like a run. i use running for pretty much every metaphor in life, but i think it is especially appropriate now. in my days running i almost always hit a "wall." i simply dont wanna run anymore, my body hurts, im tired, etc. thats kind of where i am right now with this whole cancer thing. im worn the hell out. but at the same time i do know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and this too shall pass. sometimes i cant really think straight so i just keep moving...like when i run. so theres my explanation. 

on a sweeter note, my fabulous boyfriend-nate- wrote me this love letter about 2 weeks ago. at the end of the letter he had written out what looked like a poem, each line in various languages. he told me i was supposed to figure it out- but i didnt actually do it until today. so i spend over an hour looking up all these words trying to figure out what the hell it means and FINALLY i come across some note someone had written about how they were trying to figure out the translation of a jack johnson song belle- the same lyrics written in my letter. Nate's version:

Oi lienda

Bella che fe?

Bonita, bonita que tal?

But Elizabeth

Je ne comprends pas Francais 

So you'll have to speak to me

Some other way

Jack Johnson:

Oi lienda

Bella che fe?

Bonita, bonita que tal?

But belle

Je ne comprends pas Francais

So you'll have to speak to me

Some other way

i dont deserve him. how romantic is he? im soo very grateful that the Lord put him in my life when He did. 

Until i feel like writing again

-elizabeth

*i think KD should each create one of these so i can know all your deepest, darkest thoughts as well:) and just so im not on here alone. miss you girls!!!!